My Prayer for the Child of Parents-to-be

As someone who was once a parent-to-be, I know how often you think about your baby-to-be. I know you pray for her health, safety, and timely arrival. You probably even pray that she is a happy and sweet baby, and that she has a bright future and life free from pain and sorrow. However, chances are that a few key components are missing from your prayers. If I may...

God, let this baby be blessed with the ability to sleep. Let her sleep through the night at an early age, nap regularly, and allow herself to be placed awake in her crib each night. And when she falls asleep in her carseat, let her be one of those babies who is able to be moved to her crib without waking.

Help this baby to be a willing and gentle nurser. Do not bless this baby with teeth until she's ready to wean.

God, let this baby be a late walker. But let her speak early. And let her first word be "mama."

Give this child the ability to play by herself. And let her games be quiet and sane. And may she reject any toy that makes loud beeping/roaring/musical sounds.

God, give this child the willingness to lay still for diaper changes. And bless her with the ability to dress herself from an early age. And give her the desire to dress appropriately for the weather and occasion.

Make this child smart. But not too smart. And definitely not smarter than her parents.

God, let this sweet baby be content to sit in the grocery cart until she's at least 4 years old.

God, make this child cool enough to make friends. But not so cool that she's cool enough for the cool crowd. You know, cool enough to be invited to sleepovers, but not cool enough for anyone to want to offer her drugs.

Amen.

PS: You'll thank me later.