Lately I've struggled to get and give advice about seemingly unsolvable problems like picky eating, night waking, hitting, and general toddler jerkiness. While spending yet another amazing day with my newly angelic Charlie, it hit me: if these problems seem unsolvable, it's because they are. But, happily, children tend to grow out of the problems before we have to crack them. Six months ago I was pulling my hair out over Charlie's craziness, and now it's Jimmy who wears me out. Charlie suddenly wants to follow all the rules while Jimmy gets a kick out of stealing things and running away. Realizing the hard phases and the impossible problems come and go has really helped me take a deep breath and enjoy the ride.
Right now I'm soaking up every moment of Charlie's sweet phase and I feel like I'm really getting to know him as a kid. He's funny, and not just in a slapstick three-year-old kind of way. He's funny in a gleeful, co-conspiring, shared secret kind of way. He's kind-hearted, and vulnerable, and curious, and empathic. Who'd have thought?
But, sadly, I'm expecting the next tough phase to start in about about three weeks. I think our move to Texas is going to be really hard on Charlie. He loves it here as much as Billy and I do, and I'm amazed by how sincere and deep friendship can be at three years old. Charlie has a wonderful group of playmates, but one little guy, Thaddeus, has become his best friend in the past year. Thad and Charlie are so sweet together--one minute they're chasing and being rough, and the next they're locked in a bear hug or holding hands. Sometimes, Charlie will look longingly off into the distance and murmur "I really care about Thaddeus." Thad's family is moving to Oklahoma in August and Charlie is thrilled about this because Miss Katy showed the boys their new states on a map and Texas and "Homa" are only inches apart. Last week the boys and I were throwing coins into a fountain and Charlie was breaking my heart with his wishes-- "I wish to roller skate with Thaddeus." "I wish my little friends will move to Texas. " "I wish for 'Homa'." Charlie is about to lose his best friend, and how to help him cope feels like one of those unsolvable problems.
2 comments:
Oh Courtney!!! You have me crying in my office! We'll miss you guys so very much!! But I know because these boys love each other so much (and you've become a wonderful friend for me), we'll be getting together! ~Jess
Courtney, you are such a good mommy. Just worrying and wondering about these very issues shows just how much you love and care for Charlie. Sure, the transition might be tough, but you'll teach him how to make new friends and keep in touch with those he has a deep connection with. You never know when Charlie and Thad's paths might cross again!
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