Charlie and Billy are away for the weekend, so Jimmy and I are on our own. I'm just going to come out and say it: for the past two days I've felt like the mother of the year. We've been painting, reading, doing puzzles, cracking open the educational workbooks, dancing, playing for hours at the park and basically doing all the things I always thought I'd do with my children and yet never manage to do enough of. It's a setup for success...Jimmy has a need, I am able to address that need. He takes a nap, I have two glorious hours to myself (as opposed to two hours of my non-napper following me around and demanding juice on his new electronic megaphone.) Instead of spending the day refereeing, trying to enforce time outs and desperately attempting to prevent and then manage one catastrophe after another, I'm finally on the ball. When I put Jimmy to bed tonight, I actually felt good and energized as opposed to defeated and exhausted.
To all my loyal readers out there who still have just one child, I want to share this heartfelt PSA. Don't feel the need to rush into multiplying your brood. Once you have two or--yikes--more, things will get five times harder. Of course, you'll be crazy about your little monsters and won't be able to imagine life without them. But remember that the 1:1 parent-baby ratio is a fleeting and amazing phase. And it's probably your one shot at getting that coveted mother of the year award.
3 comments:
hi courtney!
this post provided josh and i with a topic of conversation as we walked our dog (and eli) this morning. maybe we'll wait til eli is in kindergarten to have a second! though i started a little late, and then had trouble getting pregnant– so i can't wait too long! :)
i just stumbled upon this story online and thought it was funny, and reminded me of your writing:
"Momma Love" by photographer Ali Smith
MY SON WAS DIAGNOSED WITH "MOMMY-ITIS"
My two year old son says my name a lot. Like A LOT a lot! And by my “name”, I mean “mommy”.
The effect that this constant summoning has on me depends on my mood and his tone. It can range from sounding like beautiful music raining down from heaven, to feeling like I'm being hit in the head repeatedly with a brick.
During a particularly intense “mommy mommy mommy” week recently, I decided to count how many “mommies” there really were in one day, as it was driving me insane and nobody else seemed to really notice the extent of it. My line of reasoning went something like this - "If I make an art project out of this, it can't kill me.”
So I bought one of those little red clickers that knitters use to count their stitches. Off I went, madly clicking away, starting at 6 am with the first stream of "mommies" emanating from the crib, to the evening’s final throw of plaintive “mommy mommy mommy” from a boy who did not want to go to sleep. I clicked and I clicked. I drove people crazy with my clicks. I made strangers uncomfortable with my clicks. And yet, I clicked on.
The “mommy” zenith came on the day I clocked him at 967 "mommies"! That’s 967 mommies... directed at me...in the course of the waking hours of ONE day. And most of those cries indicated a need or a want or a complaint. A handful of them were accompanied by a gorgeous hug and a cheeky smile. I felt vindicated to confirm that there had been a reason I’d felt particularly crazy over the previous week. Particularly nagged. Particularly tugged on.
I'm not saying I don't love hearing my son say “mommy”. Or a reasonable number of "mommies", that is. But it started to become clear to me that, for him, “mommy” is a lot more than a word that means me specifically. “Mommy” is comfort and need. “Mommy” is automatic. “Mommy” is nonsensical rambling. “Mommy” is a word that he knows. “Mommy” is a lot of things. And sometimes, “mommy” refers just to me and it means he loves me and those are my favorite ones.
I gave up clicking after that monumental day. If the "mommies" were driving me batty, adding the clicking to them was putting me over the edge. Still, pick up a clicker sometime. You may be shocked at how much you’re needed in one day, for better or worse.
Lena was so right. The artical did read like you wrote it, funny and insightful. The mommy's experience with her young'un sounded just like my beloved, but challanging grandson, Charlie.
I am so glad you and Lena can keep in touch through blogs and facebook. She was two when you were born and was the most important child in your life until we moved when you were 4. Eli, Charlie and Jimmy are lucky to have you two as mommys.
Yep. should've seen me last night at the library trying to juggle both (tired) kids while matt had a late meeting. not sure what I was thinking, somehow being out of the house sounded like a good idea. Jude screamed when anyone/ thing restricted his freedom to sprint and pull books off the shelves while Levi just whined that I couldn't sit down and read to him or even really help pick out books. We left in a huff after the librarian and I argued about whether I had returned the (way) overdue books that we had just put into the slot.
Yes, one is easy.
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