Advanced Parenting

Without question, the past few days have been some of the most challenging I've experienced as a parent. They've been exhausting in a way that I couldn't have fathomed before having children, and that I likely won't be able to fathom a few years from now.

After our best-case-scenario arrival things quickly deteriorated. The children spent the first (and second) evenings literally bouncing off the walls. I'm not exaggerating here. My in-laws witnessed the wall-bouncing while we were trying to skype last night. Our flat is about the size of a typical living room, so even light rough housing is dangerous, loud, and just plain annoying, and the roughhousing my boys have been carrying on EVERY SINGLE MOMENT we've been in the flat has been anything but light. We honestly can't keep them apart. Nothing we do--including crazy-person yelling--deters their constant chasing and fighting.

But there's more. Just after finishing my post on Saturday night I squeezed into our full bed (the pull out sofa in the description ended up being unsleepable) and fell asleep instantly. Jimmy had hardly slept during the nights leading up to our trip and neither Bill nor I slept a wink on the plane. Needless to say, we were desperately in need of rest. When Jimmy began to stir that first night, I assumed it was 3:00 or 4:00, his usual waking time. Forcing my heavy eyes open, I discovered it was only 11:30pm. My heart sank. Billy and I took turns trying first to lull him back to sleep and when that proved pointless, entertain him in the dark, tiny, freezing flat. Miraculously, Charlie slept through that long, emotional night. Jimmy finally fell asleep at 4:30.  Jimmy's 7:00am wake-up cry was answered with whimpering from both of us.

Last night was almost worse. After skipping his nap, but putting us through hours of tired sobbing, Jimmy was exhausted by 8:00. But instead of falling asleep like a normal person, he had a two hour tantrum. I'm talking about two hours of screeching, kicking, and flailing. Considering our extreme sleep deprivation, Bill and I didn't keep our cool like we're usually able to at home. I can only imagine what our neighbors think of us. I'm guessing we're not helping to dispel the stereotype of obnoxious Americans.

This morning the boys and I had plans to walk through the parks to Buckingham Palace (which I was sure would be a home run for royalty-obsessed Charlie) but thanks to the unexpected rain, we decided to take the tube with Bill to the British Library. Bill even suggested that the boys could explore the lobby.

As we stepped into the rain to walk to the tube, Jimmy started having another tantrum. I can't even remember what started it. I think he wanted a (non-existent) chocolate cookie. The tantrum continued while we awkwardly tried to figure out how to buy our passes, while we battled the crowds to find our train, throughout the ENTIRE train ride (and despite the confused and annoyed stares of well-behaved British children), all the way through the packed station to the street, and all the way to the library. He was hysterical no matter what tricks I tried. When I took him out of the stroller he screamed to get back in. When I put him in he arched his back and screamed to get out. Bill guiltily admitted that it probably wasn't a good idea to bring our little banshee inside. I could see he felt terrible leaving me, so I tried to smile and insisted we'd find something fun to do. Once Billy disappeared inside, the rain really picked up. We were all drenched, freezing, and clearly not the kind of people who would be welcomed in indoor spaces.

I had to think quickly. I found a policeman (who seemed reluctant to talk to the drowned American rat with the insane child) and asked him how to get to the British Museum. He pointed and talked in a cockney accent I couldn't really understand, so I nodded and smiled and started walking toward the direction he pointed. For the next 45 minutes I sloshed through the rain, asking directions from time to time, while Jimmy's tantrum continued in full force and Charlie, amazingly, kept up with me without complaining.

We finally found the museum (which was okay but incredibly crowded) and Jimmy calmed down. I asked a worker to point us toward the goriest exhibit (I figured Charlie deserved some gore after his wonderful behavior) and we headed off to the mummies. Unfortunately, England doesn't have great accessibility, so every ten minutes or so I had to fold up the stroller and carry it and Jimmy up or down stairs while holding Charlie's hand and dodging legions of school children and Japanese tour groups.

I knew that going home would mean a start to the next marathon wrestling match, so I tried to hold off as long as possible, but finally, it was time. But how would we get home? I hadn't brought a map. Why on earth hadn't I brought a map??? We stumbled back out into the rain, received bad advice and so took several buses before finally getting off and finding a tube stop, then transferring several times (which meant removing an angry Jimmy from his stroller and folding it up each time) before arriving at a stop that was a somewhat close walk to our apartment. Again, we walked through the rain. Miraculously, we made it--my fingers were shaking as I unlocked the door. We'd been out walking around in stressful situations, in the rain, with a screaming two-year-old, for almost 6 hours. As disappointed as I was with Jimmy's behavior, I was so proud and grateful that Charlie walked the whole time (I'm guessing at least 5 miles total) without complaining, losing his sense of adventure, or having a potty accident.

Today was unbelievably hard. Will every day be like this? Every time we passed a poster for the upcoming London Olympics, I couldn't help but think that I was preparing for an Olympic parenting competition. My training program includes toddler insomnia, marathon tantrums, advanced public humiliation, indoor cage-fight refereeing, tube/bus/crowded street obstacle course, and urban potty scavenger hunt. I think I can beat the Russians.

As you can probably guess, I didn't take the camera out today, but here are some pictures of the amazing park we visited yesterday.